The title of this article is "How do you find happiness?" since this is exactly what we all are seeking to find. It seems we humans get the impression that happiness is something that can be found. As a result, we are all looking for happiness based on what we find. What is happiness? We assume it is something we can discover. We base how to be happy on the experience of 'what it WILL BE like'.
In other words, we relate happiness to our idea(s) of what we think happiness is or what we feel we need to find in order to experience happiness:
"If only I had enough money, then I could final be happy."
"If only I found my soul mate... "
"If only I had a job I liked... "
"If only... "
Whatever it might be for each individual, we all have our: "If only... then I could be happy."
Then it happens... we get what we think we need to be happy! And we do feel genuine happiness... but only for a belief moment. When the moment fades, a new idea forms in our mind and we start seeking happiness again.
We assume that we found the happiness only because we got what we wanted and once we got what we wanted, then we were happy. Consequentially, coming from that perspective, we believe it was what we found that fulfilled us with happiness.
However, if what we found TRULY give us happiness, then the happiness would not fade, as long as what we found remained.
We fail to notice what is really happening and where the correlation between fulfilled ideas and happiness resides.
All we notice is that once we successfully attained our goal, that we felt fulfilled. Yet, here is the secret... we felt fulfilled the brief moment that what we desired, we no longer desired. In other words, our idea of what we thought we needed to be happy was nothing more than that... an idea. Once we dropped that idea (since we seemly got what we desired) we felt authentically fulfilled and happy. Do you see where the correlation between fulfilled ideas and happiness resides?
The problem with desires and trying to fulfill them, is that once a desire is attained, a new desire rises in its place. Leaving you with a very brief feeling of happiness. Do you see the endless cycle?
Now, I am not asking you to drop all your ideas of what you think you desire in order to be happy, that would be impossible since 'not desiring anything' is a desire itself. The only reason anybody would try to drop all desires is if they read something like this and are trying to drop all desires in order to be happy. The root is the desire to be happy. A desire in itself that can never be fulfilled, satisfied, or attained since seeking happiness is exactly what is causing the search for it.
It seems ironic and impossible to be happy, right? How do you find happiness when trying to find happiness is the seemly core function that pushes it away? Well, believe it or not, this is very good news!
How is trying to find happiness, which is an impossible goal, good news? You do NOT have to do anything or attain anything to be happy. That's good news for everybody... no matter who you are, how wealthy you are, how much you own, where you live, etc... you can still be happy under any circumstance since you are not dependent upon any desire or any thing. In fact, it is our birth right and natural state of being to be happy.
Being happy is just about being. Most of us have been trying to 'do happiness'. "Once I DO this, I can BE happy". Happiness is a natural pure feeling from being and has nothing to do with doing. We ask 'How do I find happiness?" but finding is a doing, you must search (doing) in order to find what is sought. The real question is "How to BE happy?" but BEING is state of resting. We are human BEINGS, we can NOT BE anything else, no matter what we DO and all states of BEING are natural to the human BEING.
Have you ever noticed that people who are confident are not DOING confidence, they are BEING confident? They are not searching for confidence, they are simply being it. They didn't even find confidence, they are naturally being that as what they are.
Have you ever noticed that people who can fall asleep really fast, they don't try to fall asleep, they can't even explain it... they just simply lay there and fall asleep. Yet, people who try to fall asleep have the biggest problems falling asleep. Falling asleep is a state of being. And as I said, all states of being are natural to every human being. It's the trying to be in a particular state of being that seemly gives the opposite.
Are you starting to understand what it takes to be happy? Trying to explain it is like trying to explain how to be human. There is no 'how to guide' on how to be human since it's natural to be what we already are. The only problem that would get in the way of being human is if we had an idea that we needed something else outside of what we are in order to be a human being. "If only... then I can finally be human". Drop the idea(s) and you notice that you were already human, it was the idea(s) that was the only seemly block. You can't notice your humanness if you believe you are not that already. Happiness is exactly the same thing. It is a direct feeling experience of noticing what is already here.
It seems we stop noticing what is already here when we get lost in our ideas. Here is an exercise to explain. Imagine for moment that you had everything you ever thought you needed to be happy. Close your eyes and imagine it. Now, notice the difference. You may imagine your life looks different, your surrounds look different, but the FEELING of what is different, is what makes the ONLY seemly REAL difference. Feelings give rise to the colors in our experience, without them, everything is experienced as the same, numb, null, dull, void, empty, nothing, etc...
Therefore, the only difference between the reality you have and the reality you desire is in thought. "Now that I have these things, I am finally happy" and that thought produces a related feeling (based on how real that thought seems to be). Yet, what is thought, but an idea?
Happiness is real, our ideas of happiness are not.
In other words, we relate happiness to our idea(s) of what we think happiness is or what we feel we need to find in order to experience happiness:
"If only I had enough money, then I could final be happy."
"If only I found my soul mate... "
"If only I had a job I liked... "
"If only... "
Whatever it might be for each individual, we all have our: "If only... then I could be happy."
Then it happens... we get what we think we need to be happy! And we do feel genuine happiness... but only for a belief moment. When the moment fades, a new idea forms in our mind and we start seeking happiness again.
We assume that we found the happiness only because we got what we wanted and once we got what we wanted, then we were happy. Consequentially, coming from that perspective, we believe it was what we found that fulfilled us with happiness.
However, if what we found TRULY give us happiness, then the happiness would not fade, as long as what we found remained.
We fail to notice what is really happening and where the correlation between fulfilled ideas and happiness resides.
All we notice is that once we successfully attained our goal, that we felt fulfilled. Yet, here is the secret... we felt fulfilled the brief moment that what we desired, we no longer desired. In other words, our idea of what we thought we needed to be happy was nothing more than that... an idea. Once we dropped that idea (since we seemly got what we desired) we felt authentically fulfilled and happy. Do you see where the correlation between fulfilled ideas and happiness resides?
The problem with desires and trying to fulfill them, is that once a desire is attained, a new desire rises in its place. Leaving you with a very brief feeling of happiness. Do you see the endless cycle?
Now, I am not asking you to drop all your ideas of what you think you desire in order to be happy, that would be impossible since 'not desiring anything' is a desire itself. The only reason anybody would try to drop all desires is if they read something like this and are trying to drop all desires in order to be happy. The root is the desire to be happy. A desire in itself that can never be fulfilled, satisfied, or attained since seeking happiness is exactly what is causing the search for it.
It seems ironic and impossible to be happy, right? How do you find happiness when trying to find happiness is the seemly core function that pushes it away? Well, believe it or not, this is very good news!
How is trying to find happiness, which is an impossible goal, good news? You do NOT have to do anything or attain anything to be happy. That's good news for everybody... no matter who you are, how wealthy you are, how much you own, where you live, etc... you can still be happy under any circumstance since you are not dependent upon any desire or any thing. In fact, it is our birth right and natural state of being to be happy.
Being happy is just about being. Most of us have been trying to 'do happiness'. "Once I DO this, I can BE happy". Happiness is a natural pure feeling from being and has nothing to do with doing. We ask 'How do I find happiness?" but finding is a doing, you must search (doing) in order to find what is sought. The real question is "How to BE happy?" but BEING is state of resting. We are human BEINGS, we can NOT BE anything else, no matter what we DO and all states of BEING are natural to the human BEING.
Have you ever noticed that people who are confident are not DOING confidence, they are BEING confident? They are not searching for confidence, they are simply being it. They didn't even find confidence, they are naturally being that as what they are.
Have you ever noticed that people who can fall asleep really fast, they don't try to fall asleep, they can't even explain it... they just simply lay there and fall asleep. Yet, people who try to fall asleep have the biggest problems falling asleep. Falling asleep is a state of being. And as I said, all states of being are natural to every human being. It's the trying to be in a particular state of being that seemly gives the opposite.
Are you starting to understand what it takes to be happy? Trying to explain it is like trying to explain how to be human. There is no 'how to guide' on how to be human since it's natural to be what we already are. The only problem that would get in the way of being human is if we had an idea that we needed something else outside of what we are in order to be a human being. "If only... then I can finally be human". Drop the idea(s) and you notice that you were already human, it was the idea(s) that was the only seemly block. You can't notice your humanness if you believe you are not that already. Happiness is exactly the same thing. It is a direct feeling experience of noticing what is already here.
It seems we stop noticing what is already here when we get lost in our ideas. Here is an exercise to explain. Imagine for moment that you had everything you ever thought you needed to be happy. Close your eyes and imagine it. Now, notice the difference. You may imagine your life looks different, your surrounds look different, but the FEELING of what is different, is what makes the ONLY seemly REAL difference. Feelings give rise to the colors in our experience, without them, everything is experienced as the same, numb, null, dull, void, empty, nothing, etc...
Therefore, the only difference between the reality you have and the reality you desire is in thought. "Now that I have these things, I am finally happy" and that thought produces a related feeling (based on how real that thought seems to be). Yet, what is thought, but an idea?
Happiness is real, our ideas of happiness are not.
