If you think you know something about what is here, then you can feel sane. Only once you feel sane or label yourself as that, can you question 'other' as being insane.
Yet what is here can't be known and it is totally insanity that anybody could ever think this life is something sane. Always trying to make sense of what can not be made sense of. It is chaos here even in its simplicity.
People say that there is something stable here and hereness is a way to point to that. But even hereness is not ever really here. It's gone as soon as it is noticed as here. Where did it go to? Here. Now it is Here. Try to see the stableness of here and you will see how equally it is gone. There is nothing solid in here. Notice here and now it is here. There is not moments of time in which one moment passes into another moment. It is always here but here is so fresh and newly here that here is not the same here as it is when it is here, now it is here, fresh now, fresh here. Even the slightest noticing of what is here, is a fresh here. Here is not stable at all! Nothing here is stable, so how can one expect self to be anything stable or sane. There is nothing that is constant, not even here. Not even this presence, it's not consistently present because it's always freshly present.
If you can really get a sense of this from your direct experience, you mind will eat itself, go in shock, or give up in awe, you might than begin to question your own sanity. This is truly what not knowing is.
If you haven't questioned your own sanity, you know too much. Question the deep corner of your mind and see how far back into the corners you can go... question it until the mind folds upon itself.
This whole thing is insane. What insanity life is. And I don't even know if that is true, maybe the insanity is just here. I question it, I question everything! I know nothing for certain, NOTHING! It's crazy and nuts and nonsense, but here it is, whatever it is. Holy shit! Fuck! Wow! This whole thing is weird! What the hell is this? I just don't know! I can't know, what is to know.
"Dear Nicholas,
I like your letter - sincere and honest, it's coming from the heart, and that is why I am tempted to reply. What I want to say is that life is NOT insane, nor is it weird, or even sane per say, and this is not as complicated as it seems to be. It is simple, truly, really simple, and you DO know this as the truth. You Do know, but chose to forget. Of course, nothing “you” can do to know “what is to know” - because “you” made it, you believe in it. But the good news is what you made can be undone FOR you, and then you know the Truth as your own Self. Just know – with no question or thought of it. Simple as that."
Actually it's just a way of pointing to the subtleness of reality. The weirdness of it is just one finite subtle aspect of the infinite fullness of experiences that can unfold.
Nothing I say is truth because that cannot be spoken, one can only give representations of seeing what is already here and the truth may be directly seen but never described. Therefore nothing I say is believed or actual, yet words to give that impression.
"Thanks for your response, Nicholas!
I agree with what you say – the statements and conclusions are sophisticated and deep enough, but... totally dead. Nothing I would add here, except that just ask -why are we so tempted time after time after time to repeating our circle of suffering? Why don’t we just stop for a moment to see that what we are doing – going in circles - is indeed insane? Why don’t we just get off of that rollercoaster we are so exhausted from riding but keep doing it anyway? Why do we keep talking and thinking and arguing and agreeing, and describing ... what have you, about the truth instead of just knowing the Truth and be glad? Just firkin why???"
We all have own why's but none of them touch the vastness and fullness of what is here. The vastness of any experience is much fuller than any interpretation we can have about it. The inherent infinite nature of 'reality' is not resolvable. There seems to be a process that unfolds in realizations, but there is no final arrival point. The realizations are infinite. The closest point to an 'ultimate' realization (or seeing) is realizing that there is no final arrival point (just a constant movement of complex 'energies' in which we simplify into finite interpretations). Every realization is just a finite incompleteness of the infinite unfolding that is here. Nothing can ever be known for sure, the experiences that unfold are infinite. Truth is equally every finite experience in the whole that experience itself is. There is nowhere to land or reference-point to say that I know or understand anything for sure other than that this, whatever it is, is.
In my direct experience here, I can't understand what I am experiencing, but it is self-evident that experience is here. It doesn't have to be understood. Understand it or not, it's still obviously here. Rather you can intellectually articulate that experience or not by answering the questions of why, it is still here. Simple and obvious, no understanding needed, no why questions need answers. One can not rid of the experience or presence or hereness (whatever word you resonate with). It comes on full force without effort and therefore no effort is needed to see it. Everything else is an 'overlay' of the simple effortlessness of this.
"Dear Nicholas. The least I would expect as a response to my “Why people keep talking about the Truth rather than just knowing the Truth and be glad?” was an another sophisticated and long answer. Amazing! Yes, the Truth CAN be known, and needs to be known – not intellectually, but directly. All we need to do is just shut up and listen"
In my experience here, I used to talk about it for many reasons that were ego stimulated.
Yet, when the 'heart awoken' (as a way of speaking), there's a natural love that automatically, naturally, and spontaneously effortlessly flows out. In this experience here, it's a love that can't be described since it is storyless without reason or why, but it seems to move in the direction of sharing itself with itself (for lack of better words).
However, I am quite content with not sharing since I see I am not needed, but sharing happens or it doesn't, there is no why. I see you're still sharing too and I am delighted of that. :)
"Of course we share
Why are you saying you are not needed? How do you know that? Sharing is a great and rewarding thing - only sharing can be satisfactory. But there is a fine line though – a razor edge. Coming from the ego, the idea of so called “sharing” becomes a trap giving a false impression of being the epicenter of all the true and the best for humanity – maniac idea that causes tyranny, wars and everything else of this sort. This is a realm of hell. When trying to share, see for yourself whether it gives you joy or otherwise – be honest and sincere in your inquiry."Yes what I am calling love, you are calling joy; same thing. Love is joy in a manner of speaking.
"Love is joy in a manner of speaking" - perfectly said!
