"is it like aliveness now is being lived and persona is seen as persona and not as driving force?"
The seeing that collapses the whole idea of a separate person, is that there is no doer. This seeing is simple and obvious when looking at your own direct experience. However, in order to point this out in your direct experience right now, let's start here with a series of questions (setting all beliefs aside):
Did you choose to be born? Did you choose your parents? Did you choose your genes? DNA? Did you choose your appearance? Did you choose the conditioning of your parents? Did you choose how they raised you? Did you choose how their parents brought them up? Did you choose the traditions, social influences, conditioning, culture, emotional or mental balances, talents, brain chemicals or processes or function, etc...?
The obvious answer to all the above is "No." And you will not choose when you die or how either.
If you are thrown into life to start out conditioned and choiceless and you're thrown out of life at death in a choiceless manner; it would seem logical that one is conditioned to proceed in life with the same conditional and choiceless manner. Never-the-less it's the "in-between" illusion of choices in life that seems to be tricky to see through. Yet it is only "tricky" because you were conditioned to believe this assumption that has gone unquestioned. The assumption that it is you who are making choices. However, through your own direct experience of life, it will show what is really taking place, once that belief is dropped through questioning the assumption.
First who is it that seems to be making choices? You are that body/mind right? But who is it that is claiming to be that body/mind? This is the same non-dual talk that every nondual pointer seems to give, but have you really taken the time to investigate such questions? Perhaps you have and you can't find who. So what, right? But really it's a serious allegation because if you are making choices, who is this you that is doing that? You make choices right? You who? You point to that body/mind, but who is it that just pointed? If you don't know who, how can you claim to be making choices?
Perhaps a bit of pointing through using examples will help to see through this claiming of choices. Notice in this coming example how you couldn't possibility make a choice without the environment unfolding the way it does. All apparent choices are intimately one with the environment, in which you have no choice over. You don't control the environment do you? You can only seemingly control the choices you make in that environment right? So where is the line between what you can control in the environment and what you can't?
Let's say I invite you to come visit me so we can talk about pointing. Now the only reason you seemingly have a choice now is because I invited you and you now can seemingly choose to take the invitation or not. Therefore, it is the unfolding environment (in which I am part of) that seemingly give you a choice. Now what you apparently choose depends on your unfolding environment too, which includes everything in your present experience including finances, previous commitments, obligations, etc... it all has to do with the environment in which you have no control over.
The environment is what is and you can only seemingly make a choice based on what is. You cannot change what is, but what is can seem to change. Yet how much control do you really have in influencing a change? Again, that depends on the environment, does it not? And what change you will try to change depends on the environment too.
Let's say that you supposedly were allowed to make the choice to come and see me based on the environment being in "your favor'. Let's say you have to fly on a plane to come see me. So you book your ticket and show up on time but the flight was canceled due to something unfolding in the environment.
Logically, simply, and directly looking at the obviousness of this in your own experience, it is easy to see that the one in charge is the environment and nobody is in charge of that. So everything that happens, is happening without you. There is an natural acceptance of what is, when this is seen.
But what about the thoughts that seem to come from the 'inner experience'. Are you the thinker? Do you choose thoughts? It doesn't seem to matter since nothing in the 'outer experience' is going be changed by thoughts alone, expect maybe the perspective in which the 'outer experience' is seen.
Well let's think about this. Something happens and a thought is thought. Thoughts seem to be one with the unfolding environment too. You can test this by seeing that you can't decide what thoughts to have before something unfolds because you never know what will unfold next. All thoughts are given to you based on the unfolding environment which is where conditioning arises from. You can try to think outside of the conditioning of the environment but what would cause you to want to do that, other than reading something like this (that is now in your environment) just to prove to yourself that you have choice in thoughts.
How simple obvious, but you can seemingly make it complex by adding beliefs in the mix. But what chooses what to believe? Is not everything you have ever believed something that was taught to you? Something unfolded in the environment? You heard someone say something, you read a book, you read an article, something in the environment unfolded a certain way and a thought was thought and believed to be truth?
Truth doesn't need your belief in it for it to be obvious there. No beliefs are required to see truth because truth is always standing, always presently here. If something that is truth needs for you to believe in it in order to see it as truth, then it cannot be truth. Beliefs require faith, the faith to believe in something without seeing any evidence of it being true. What kind of truth is that? "Hey I will tell you all the secrets in the universe and all that is needed is that you believe everything I say, okay?" Of course you wouldn't fall for that, but all beliefs are like this.
What I am pointing to doesn't need your belief, it is very apparent in your direct experience of life, is it not? If it is not, then perhaps an overlaying believe/thought/assumption/theory/concept/idea is being focused on. Unfix your ideas and just see what life looks like without all those fixated concepts of what you think is reality. Nothing conveys anything except thoughts/words. And yet thoughts/words are created fictions for communication purposes. They are make believe. Therefore everything thought conveys is make believe. So thought cannot be a driving force, unless it is believed to be. LOL! How fun eh?
