"all you're done is convince me that this is not a living reality for you. you've mindscrewed yourself, tho despite that, some sincere ones'll likely glean some cool stuff from your wordplays which, tho tedious and heady, are fun too.
maybe try on forgetting all you know about the not-me me and the nothinged and nobodied one may emerge to say hello thru the one formerly claiming no-claims and being no-being.
as you say, it's all good."
I am not trying to convince anybody of anything. I realize (just everything else) that this type of pointing doesn't resonate with everybody. If this is not what you're looking for, I respect that, I don't mind if you move on. Most people do just move on, the fact that you took the time to write me and yet didn't unsubscribe is very telling. What do you want me to say? What are looking for in emailing me?
I understand your frustration and I am not sure if you are searching for this, but we are all searching for something. Life doesn't feel whole and complete. The feeling that something is missing is all too common. A trying to make life better in order to feel even a small amount of satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness. One can only take so much of that before something has to give. Usually the giving point is just another distraction that works for a while, but ultimately it will fail like everything else did.
I know the words in some of the articles can seem like a play on words but what I am pointing to is very simple. It's that awake, alert presence that is aware of these words being read right now. It's not what is reading the words, it is what is aware of the words being read by the body/mind.
Most people think that it's the five senses that give rise to this awareness. But how can sight (or hearing, or sensations, etc...) give you the ability to be aware? Sight/seeing is noticed by something. Without this witness (awareness, consciousness or whatever word) there would be nothing observing sight (or any other of the 4 senses) taking place.
This awareness seems to not lack anything, so once one sticks with this awareness, rather than getting distracted with thoughts, sensations, feelings, perspectives, opinions, beliefs, emotions, or any other appearance.... there seems to be a inner peace that everyone is searching for. The everlasting fulfillment is found. There is a sense of wholeness and completeness. It's really simplistic but difficult to point to since it's too obvious.
"listen nick, i gotcha. all of what you're saying is right on, but it just feels like you're saying the same thing over and over and over again... look at the advaitists who sure 'sound' like they got it, but the intellectual understanding is only the beginning.
see, it can be misleading when the intellectual understanding of non-dualism and our inherent nature of oneness is taken as the truth or an end-all. advaita's a perfect example (if you'd like to have a good mirror) of tis trap.
all I'm saying is keep going. why am i e-mailing you? because you seem to have convinced yourself that you got it and that may end up being a real, real pain in the ass (soon, if you're lucky... 30 years down the line if you're not).
why don't i unsubscribe? your words are fun and you're good at working with them.
nevertheless, spiritual masturbation DOES get infectious, and the selling of jerking off with truth-talk does rub me the wrong way"
Actually the direct seeing of this came before the intellectual understanding of it in my case but what does it really matter?
I am not talking about truth at all, everything I say is bullshit. Everything is true and therefore nothing is true. It's all bullshit. Nobody can talk about truth. Nobody can gain truth. Nobody can realize truth. Nobody can have truth. It's everywhere as everything, so how can you say truth is truth when it's everything? Indeed I am repeating the same thing over and over again in every fresh and new moment. Always pointing to the same thing. It seems it takes pointing through repetition for this simplicity to be seen.
Nothing is an end-all, life goes on. The story continues to live its life. Still learning and still attaining goals, only it's not done to make things better anymore. It's just the next obvious movement.
Keep going where? The only value is seeing that what you are is always present and is never changing and next it's seen that nothing can be separated from that awareness. Everything is that awareness. Finally life can be fully lived without you getting in the way of yourself.
And since everything is that value, where can I go that is more valuable than 'somewhere else'?
Simple, obvious, and directly experienced as never-changing and always present. That's all I am ever talking about and 'everything else' is concepts about that (and concepts are intellectual so it's no wonder it seems that way). So what am I convincing myself of?
Nobody has it since it is everything including the one searching for it, so what is it going matter 30 years from now? I am not talking about anything that needs to be convinced of. Awareness is obviously there and it is obvious that nothing can be separate from it since you need awareness to be aware anything else.
Therefore there is nothing else without awareness. Awareness is it. And maybe that sounds intellectual but intellect is it too. Besides is someone higher, better, more the truth, more of life, etc.. who has a direct seeing versus someone who has an intellectual understanding? What is wrong with only having an intellectual understanding? Life will still go on much the same no matter what, so what is the difference? Do you really think this email or anything we have to say to each other is going to matter in 100 years, let alone 30 years?
"spiritual masturbation DOES get infectious, and the selling of jerking off with truth-talk does rub me the wrong way" is this not only a thought? Without awareness would you even be aware of this thought? A thought arises in awareness and dies right back into the same awareness in which it come. How can something so temporary, so fleeting, so unstable; hold anything convincing? Does thought even know what we are talking about? How could it know when it can't name it, can't speak about it, can't talk about it? And yet still awareness (or whatever fleeting word) remains being aware of this and allowing this to unfold, for without this present awareness nothing can be said to unfold at all.
