In the last article, there was an explanation of how people grow in two major ways. One is in lightening speeds, exploding (like a rocket) and there are no progressive steps to observe. The last article (Mastering Unconditional Love in Relationships) explains how to master unconditional love in an instant way through the lightening speed of growth. Through this article a systematic structured plan to progress or way to put into practice the mastery of unconditional love will be presented since there is a recognization that most people would resonate with a modeled layout.
Growth through Practicing
As I mentioned in "The Purpose of Human Relationships" the most power gift one can give to themselves and everyone else is to love themselves unconditionally. This gift is perhaps the most powerful gift of life. Knowledge is power but knowledge with unconditional love is the greatest power in the universe. It is not difficult to love yourself once you find the greatest parts of yourself and there is a detailed description on how to do that in "The Purpose of Human Relationships" article. Therefore, one of the first and most powerful ways to practice unconditional love is to love yourself unconditionally. We must feel and give unconditional love to Self before we can accept and expect to give to another, in this way we experience it first hand. If it is not first experienced within Self then there is no reference point to begin giving what we are taught to not understand. There must be a relatable experience within, to connect at the level of unconditional love.
Practice patience with yourself and will begin to be patient with others. Forgive yourself and you can forgive everyone else. It is not difficult to forgive others when you realize that there is nothing to forgive since you call forth every experience. (More explained in this article). Let yourself see you as you really are and this will help to express more of your true self as well as help to see others the same way. By changing self, you change others because relationships are mirrors. This is why living by example is so very important, when you live by example (changing yourself) then an automatic change happens within everyone around you. If people around you are not changing then that only means you need to work on yourself but be gentle with yourself and allow time to progress. Every process we undertake is our way of setting ourselves up for change, without accepting the change right away. There is no reason to allow time unless you do not feel ready quite yet, therefore allow yourself as much time as needed.
Big Influences of Conditioned Love
One way to practice being unconditionally loving is to know what causes conditional love. The feeling and knowing of unconditional love is an understanding we were all born with, but it is the 'un-learning' of that understanding, which results in limited beliefs that we put on ourselves and others as our conditioned love is shaped. We were programmed to keep our love conditioned by our parents (their parents), teachers, society, communities, religions, media, and everybody who has a big influence on our thoughts, beliefs, learning patterns, values, and everything that causes us to take the actions we choose. Our natural unconditional love is replace by the teachings of a conditional system that taught us to be conditional through the words we hear, actions we see and pain that is felt through the words and actions to ourselves and others. Through structure and discipline we are taught that we are either good or bad and only acceptable as human beings if we follow rules, regulations and limits that are set down by the influences of our world.
Instead of being taught that there is an unconditional love for us and that is the only reason why some of our actions receive consequences, we are taught of a reference point shaped with conditions to the love we give and receive. The reasoning is that at some where down the line parents forgot the role they were given and started parenting through the filter of limited beliefs. The only role the parent has as a mother or father is to be aware of the dangers that the child is unaware of through the child's ignorance of its own safety. Practice being a parent who plays only that role and you will see a surprisingly different outcome to what unconditional love can offer. Unconditional love allows for unconditional experiences of our infinite potential.
Levels of Awareness to Stop Conditioned Love
The most logical awareness of dangers for the child is on a physical level, being aware for the child at this level is about protecting the child from the extreme heat on that stove and from the traffic on that road, ect. In fact, naturally children are always born with only two fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. These fears are naturally built from within for the purpose of survival. Every other fear is a conditioned taught program put into the child from the child's surrounding influences but every fear should be expressed because it allows us to realize ourselves as love. Unconditional love gets distorted when the growth process is not allowed to grow. Fear is part of reality as a growth device, but if fear is not allowed to grow by expressing it then fear is replaced with panic and panic can stunt the growth of consciousness.
At the root of every action unconditional love is the point where it all begins even if fear is the driving force. A parent, who saves their child from getting hit by a vehicle, does so out of fear for the child's life but that fear expresses a love for the child. Everything is love and expresses love even through fear, which is the opposite of love. Some would say hate is the opposite of love but let us take a closer look. Love shares with all and fear hoards everything to self. Love expands and opens up to everything in existence. Fear contracts, closes down and draws in everything to be had. When love is continuously shut down by fear or love is not expressed then love turns into the experience of being possessive. Yet, even fear is an outgrowth of love because unconditional love is the ultimate reality of who we really are.
The next two levels of being aware of dangers for the child are mental and emotional dangers. Mental dangers are any thoughts that express a lack of two things, a lack that says "I can't" or "Not possible" (hence the creation of limited beliefs). All emotional dangers are a result or chain reaction of the mental condition. Thoughts are energy (Einstein's equation E=MC2 explains that the root source of all things are energy) and when a thought is in motion and a feeling is attached to that thought then you create emotion, hence emotion equals energy in motion.
How Emotions Give Unconditional or Conditional Love
An emotion is an object that surrounds the State of Being of who we really are and that object is designed to release an expression that is considered to be of value to who we choose to be in each moment. When we express emotions as a child and are told that certain emotions are bad then we are conditioned to program ourselves to be limited when that emotion arrives. Emotions are a part of the human experience to help push the human to grow and growth is part of the progress of life since we are here to experience ourselves as infinite potential through our conscious self. The consciousness is infinite and the more the human grows, the more conscious levels of self it can progress through. Every emotion that passes through a child is always healthy, natural, positive, and helping unless they are taught to not feel, think, express or release certain emotions. Emotions that are allowed to be part of the child's experience helps the child reach higher states of conscious awareness through self. Emotions that are not allowed will lower the states of conscious awareness through self and blocks unconditional love.
The Five (including fear & love) Natural Emotions
Sadness is a healthy and natural emotion designed to pushed the child into higher states that will eventually determine the happiness of that child as it grows but when the child is told that sadness is bad (children can be told this on levels that the parent is not usually aware of like "there, there, do not cry" is telling the child that there is something wrong or bad about crying and not to do it) and not allowed to release it in a expressive way then it is suppressed to bottle up within the child and builds into a limited belief about self. If it is suppressed too long then it will eventually attack confidence which inspire unnatural emotions like worthlessness that in turn can lead to depression and even lower to chronic depression. However, when sadness is allowed to be expressed then as the child grows, the child will move away from creating the emotion of sadness. Sadness will eventually grow to become an empowering emotion of happiness as the child move into the adult years since they were allowed to push out, express and get rid of sadness then they reach states of accepting, willing and understanding that the emotion of sadness is the illusion of having an experience of loss. When you can see an illusion then there is no reason to experience it and express yourself to it the same ways. You learn to be accepting of loss which in turn helps you experience higher states of conscious self, which in turn helps with unconditionally loving others.
Envy is an emotion that we all are born with for the purpose of growth. If it was not for envy then there would be no will to keep at our desires until we achieve them, there would be no reason to strive, to push ourselves harder, to give it our best and do whatever it takes to succeed like the people around us. Envy is the driving point that eventually allows us to see that we are infinite potential and we can have, do and be anything we observe in another. Yet if we are taught to not express envy then the envy builds up into the opposite effect and creates one to experience jealousy. Jealousy is the act of observing another having, being or doing something and feeling that you can not have, achieve or experience the desire you observe within them. Jealousy is a very unconscious emotion that filters a very low awareness of conscious self, which in turn causes a condition on how you see others.
The emotion of anger is part of everybody's experience since it allows us to grow and eventually reach contentment. Anger is designed to drive people to get tired of their current experience and seek to make a better one, "I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore" or anger can be very settle, it is the emotion that allows one to not accept an invitation. If anger is not allowed to be expressed or pushed out then it becomes rage. Anger is never abusive or damaging, that is a result of rage. However if anger is released and expressed then there is no reason for rage to exist, as a result anger grows into finding a place for contentment. The release of anger eventually becomes a small experience and is moved through very quickly, helping to find contentment within ones self and environment.
In closing this article, there is still much left to be said as a result of practicing unconditional love and consequently I will separate these into parts. With that being said, practice being a parent who allows natural emotions to be experienced and expressed is one way to practice unconditional love for your child(ren) since these are some of the things that cause one to put conditions on love. Also notice these things within yourself and observe if you experience unnatural emotions from bottling up natural emotions.
The Purpose of Human Relationships
How to Dissolve Problems in Human Relationships
Mastering Unconditional Love in Relationships
Growth through Practicing Unconditional Love: Consciousness
Relationship between Consciousness & Reality
Posted by: Nicholas Powiull
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